Day 5

So yesterday wasn't that bad, actually. I started the day on a good note, seeing my thearapist in the morning.

I spoke with him at length about this blog, and the work I'm trying to do on myself. He gave me some very good advice, including that I should change my focus from "lose weight lose weight lose weight" to "live healthy live healthy live healthy." It's a difficult switch to make, because I so desperately want to lose the weight, but I am on the right path, anyway, becuase I am not doing a fad diet, but instead trying to make good choices.

Food-wise, there wasn't much of a struggle yesterday. I chose a salad for lunch, and had another can of soup for dinner (I'm like a hobo). I think I'm clinging to the soup and salads as a bit of a security blanket, and will branch out today and eat a wrap for lunch, and I don't know what for dinner.

No real struggle with the pot yesterday, though I have already started debating whether or not I will accept some OPP at poker on Saturday. I really want to do it, and am telling myself that by doing it, it would be testing my fortitude to not overeat afterwards, but I'm also pretty certain that it's too soon. The debate continues.

So, some facts:

Day 4 food:

Orange juice (16 ounces)

Spinach and tomato salad with feta cheese and vinagrette (a little over 1/2 order)

Three tangerines

Progresso classic chicken noodle soup (2 servings in the can)

Fruit punch (very little)

Iced tea (16 ounces)

Day 4 exercise:

5,600 steps (still haven't changed anything... hopefully today)

Daily weight: 275 lbs. (down 12)

I was thinking about going to a poker tournament today, but similar to smoking on Saturday, I think it's too soon to go to a tournament when I know I'm going to be playing tomorrow night.

So that's about it. Today I will attempt to be productive. Laundry, clean the apartment, do some writing, etc. This would be the type of day where I'd eat throughout, never really defining the difference between meals, but instead eating constantly. It's going to be a challenge to not do that, but hopefully by not being high, I can actually get some stuff done around the house.

Thanks for reading!